I turned 60 last September and such milestone birthdays have a tendency to make you think about the life you have lived so far. For me that journey includes living in several different states and towns. As I think back on the various places I've called home, I realize there is a piece of every place I've lived inside of me. Each town, each home, each street that once held my footprints still lingers reminding me of who I was at that time. Some places left gentle imprints; others carved themselves into my soul, shaping me in ways I'll never fully understand.
My current home is in Saratoga Springs, New York and the life I have created in this place is one I truly love. It was forged out of sadness, strength, hope and finally joy following my divorce. Saratoga Springs will always hold a special place in my heart because it is where I finally became the truest version of myself. I discovered the kind of person I want to be and the things that are important to me. I found out (or remembered) I am a strong, resilient and independent woman and can do whatever I set my mind to. These realizations have been life changing and Saratoga Springs may be the final place I call home.
But of all the places I've called home, the one that holds the deepest roots is Colorado. Colorado is the place that built the foundation for everything that followed. At this point, Colorado is the place I spent the most years. My parents moved our family to Colorado in 1970 and Northglenn (a suburb of Denver) is basically the first hometown I really remember.
To me, Colorado is more than just a pin on the map; it is the place that holds my heart. Not only because my parents, my sister and her family, and most recently Madison, my oldest daughter, live there, but because the essence of who I am, what I value and the things I still love today were all influenced by growing up in Colorado. Colorado is certainly a beautiful state. The bright blue sky, the over 300 days of sunshine, the Rocky Mountain skyline...just a few of the things that come to mind when I think of my old home state. But more important than that, are the aspects of my personality that make me a Coloradoan even when I have lived in upstate New York for the last 20 years!
I'm sure readers of this blog can look back at their childhood hometown (or hometowns if there was more than one) and see how that specific location molded them and still impacts them today. It is crazy how subtly these places shape us and create the lens through which all other life experiences are viewed. As my parents age, I have been making more frequent trips back to my old stomping grounds and that is what triggered this reflection. As I drive around Denver passing familar haunts I am flooded with memories. I vividly remember the heart and mind of the young girl who grew into a young woman in this place. This is where I experienced most of the huge milestones of life... my first boyfriend, high school and college (and the resulting graduations), my first "adult" job out of college, my first professional job after law school, getting married, and having both of my girls (with lots of other "firsts" in between). Although I have experienced a lot more life since then, that Colorado girl is still very much a part of who I am today.
For example, I am an avid sports fan and that can absolutely be traced back to the sports-crazed town of my youth. I became a Bronco fan first and that was disappointing for many years (the Craig Morton years, iykyk) and VERY exciting for many years after that (those awesome John Elway years). I actually went to a Super Bowl rally by myself with newborn Madison strapped to my chest in a Baby Bjorn. We were actually highlighted in a Rocky Mountain News article about Bronco fans! Then came the Denver Nuggets and the Colorado Avalanche (going to the Stanley Cup in the first year there!). Colorado natives love their sports and the society revolves around the Denver sports teams. When we moved to upstate New York, I immediately missed that energy and have tried to jump on the bandwagon of various New York teams, but since NY fandom is split between several different teams, it just isn't the same. I am alone among most of my female friends in NY by wanting to watch major sporting events and following the stats. That definitely comes from my Denver upbringing where EVERYONE was a super fan! I really, really miss the sports town energy so whenever I am visiting, I try to attend at least one Colorado sporting event.
I am also a huge lover of music and used to pride myself on being on top of up and coming artists. My favorite station in Denver is KBCO, an alternative rock station, which highlights musicians that are new and more off-beat. The music of my teens and 20's was broad and diverse thanks to that station and I miss having an easy way to stay current. As soon as I get back into Denver putting KBCO on the radio takes me back in time (some of the DJs are still the same) and I always learn of some new bands that I can't wait to research more. On my latest visit I learned of a new band from Ireland called The Inhalers. There's a little insider music tip for you.
Another part of my Colorado music foundation was going to concerts at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. I took for granted the amazing concert venue right in my own back yard. Now that I have moved away I realize what a gift it was to experience live music at such a spectacular place. Madison actually lives fairly close to Red Rocks and you can see the iconic rock formations from the road. Whenever I see them I remember all the shows that form treasured memories in my mind...several Jimmy Buffet concerts, Sting, Pat Benatar, Jefferson Airplane, UB40, Loverboy, Billy Squire, Lyle Lovett, Kris Kristofferson, the Beach Boys, the list goes on. As I mentioned, my taste was diverse and I loved every show I saw there. If you are around my age and reading this I am sure that list takes you down memory lane as well. All I can say is I am glad there is no photographic evidence of some of the crazy times at Red Rocks...especially those Jimmy Buffet concerts!
Of course growing up in Colorado, skiing was a given. I grew up driving west on I-70 VERY early on weekend mornings (because my dad had to get there before the lifts started). I have years of fond memories skiing with friends and family. I gave it up for many years once we moved to the northeast, but I have recently picked it back up and I missed it! Luckily skiing is like riding a bike and the skills come right back (however the ski leg muscles may need some work!). It is crazy how my brain remembers the ski trails and lodges of the Colorado areas I skied for all those years...it feels like no time has passed. I am so grateful to have grown up skiing in Colorado so that it is something I can jump back into now. Growing up and into adulthood, I used to ski a lot with my sister Brenda and my friend Laurie. On one of my recent visits back home I went to one of my favorite areas, Copper Mountain, and spent the day skiing with Brenda, Laurie, and now Madison! It brought back so many great memories and it was so fun. The awesome bluebird skiing day was pretty great too!
The people that became part of my life as I grew up in Colorado also had a huge impact on who I am today. Luckily, I am still in touch with several high school and college frients that live in Denver, so it is always great to see them when I return. These people knew me as a young child before the journey of life took me to different places and shaped my views. But they also know me now when the ups and downs of that journey have had impacts. Words can't describe the depths of those long time bonds. These friends know where I came from and we have the same old childhood stories (which we recount frequently on our visits). They also know my parents so as I struggle with their aging, and particularly my mom's Alzheimer's, it is so helpful to have people who have known them for years and remember them like I do.
Even though the reason for my frequent trips back is sad (Alzheimer's SUCKS!), it has given me the opportunity to experience the gratitude of the things Colorado has given me and how it has shaped me. Through the pain of watching my parents age and my mom's memory slipping away, there is some comfort in wrapping myself in the memories of growing up here and surrounding myself with people who knew my parents as they were. My recent day of skiing with Laurie and my sister was filled with stories of my dad who taught me to ski and always drove us to the ski areas. We remembered his pointers on our skiing form AND advice on how to save money in the cafeteria ("Soup and apple is all you need! Don't spend a fortune on a hamburger!") There are memories of spending time with my mom around every corner. The first time we took Madison to see Santa at the Cherry Creek Mall. Our frequent trips to the neighborhood Target with Taylor while Madison was in kindergarten. Taylor still comments on the soda and popcorn my mom would grab to sustain her as we browsed the store finding toys for the girls and other things we didn't need. I laugh with my friends remembering how my mom would pile us in the car and drive us past our crushes houses before we could drive. Colorado holds so many cherished memories and with Madison living there again I am sure there are many more to come.
If you haven't made a visit to your hometown in a while, I highly recommend a trip down memory lane. If you can't physically go, it is worth the time to reflect on where you grew up and see how it has influenced who you are today. Hopefully you will feel the same love and gratitude for the place that made you!
